“Tunde I’m two weeks late, I’m scared” I informed him.
“Pamilerin you can’t be pregnant, we always use protection except for few times that we got carried
“Those few times are enough to get me pregnant”
“I think you should get tested first before jumping into conclusion” he said
“I will get a pregnancy test strip from the pharmacy on my way back from school” I said as I dressed up
preparing for lectures.
Later in the day, we both came back from school, and I prepared dinner and dished it on a breakable
plate. We do eat together.
“Babe you are not eating, you are just staring at the food” he said looking directly into my eyes.
“How will I eat, I’ve bought the pregnancy test strip and I don’t know what the result will say. Am
“Just calm down, let’s see the result first”
“Tunde what if I’m pregnant?”
“When will you have the test?” he asked
“First thing tomorrow morning”
“Just calm down”
“You are just saying I should calm down, you are a man it won’t affect you”
“You think it won’t affect me? Let’s just wait till tomorrow, now eat your food”
“I’ve lost my appetite” I stood up and sat on the bed.
“You know starving yourself won’t solve the problem. I’ll cover the food, you can eat when you
regain your appetite”
I laid on the bed to sleep but I couldn’t sleep all through the night. I thought of my life and my future.
I come from a godly home where my parents did their best in raising godly children. But see what
love made me do.
I knew it everyday that what I’m doing was wrong, it’s against my belief. I never intended to have sex
in my relationship not to talk of being a live-in-girlfriend.
I did all this for the sake of love, the pressure was much from Tunde that I had to succumb. Fine staying together makes us bond well but I wonder what we stand to gain aside from the bonding and regular sex but see where it landed me.
I am pregnant, am very sure of that, I’ve never been this late since I started menstruating, worst is
between two or three days, then I’ll see my period” I thought.
While I was still thinking about the mess I got myself into, I felt his hand on my body because I was backing him so I didn’t see him, he was trying to get me aroused.
“Tunde take your hands off me this minute” I said angrily.
“Babe I’m just trying to help ease your worries”
“By having sex with me? I doubt if you are bothered a bit”
“Off course I am, I just want to….
“Do you even love me, because if you do you won’t be thinking about sex right now”
“I cant believe you just said that, you know I love you”
“Which am beginning to doubt, just let me be, pleaseeee”
“I’m very sorry my love, I thought it will help. Stop giving yourself headache we are not even sure yet”
“I get it, it’s my body not yours and I know if something it’s not right”
I took one of the pillows, stood up from the bed and laid on the rug.
“Please come back to bed Pamilerin, I won’t touch you” he pleaded.
I pretended as if I did not hear him. I just laid there on the rug thinking about what the test result will be.
I woke up the next morning, I took the PT strip into the bathroom, I sat on the toilet sit and pee on the stick. I waited for some minutes and to proof my suspicion, I saw two red lines, meaning I’m pregnant. I screamed.
Tunde rushed into the bathroom and held me. He took the stick from me, he saw two red lines which I’m sure he doesn’t understand the meaning.
He took the PT strip pack from the top of the sink where I put it. He read the instructions and he realized what was going on.
“So two red lines means positive “ he said and sighed heavily. He was sweating profusely.
He took me into his arms to console me but I cried the more.
“Tunde I’m finish, my father will disown me that’s if he didn’t kill me first” I said in tears.
“Pamilerin take it easy we’ll figure it out”
“You can’t understand, have brought shame upon myself and family. My mum is a deaconess while my dad is an elder in church. I’m the first child what example will I set for my siblings” I wept uncontrollably.
“I understand, we are both not ready for this, just put yourself together”
“You are a guy, I’m going to be the object of ridicule not you” I said amidst tears. He wipe my tears with his hands.
“Babe, take your bath and let’s prepare for school its almost 7am and we both have 8 o’clock lecture”
“Go ahead and take your bath, let me stay at home and mourn my woes”
“Let’s stay at home together then, I can’t leave you all alone, not like this”
“Don’t miss lectures because of me, don’t worry I won’t commit suicide. I know better than that, suicide is a direct flight to hell”
“I’m not leaving, we’ll stay here together”
We were like that for hours, we did not bath or eat. We were both engrossed in our thoughts. He sent a text message to the class rep that we wont be coming to class that very day. One thing is sure the whole class we noticed our absence.
Despite the text we still got so many calls. He picked some, I didn’t pick any, it got to a stage I had to put off my phone.
Both of us are just in the room we didn’t say a word to each other.
I thought of so many things, should I run away? But where will I go? I thought.
“Pamilerin! He broke the silence.
“What do you want us to do about the pregnancy?”
“I wish I’m dreaming, I want to wake up and realize all this is a dream”
“This is real”
“What do you want us to do about it” I asked him the same question he asked me.
“We have just two options here, it’s either we keep it or will abort it.
“Let me think and weigh my options” I said.
“I think we have to decide fast”
“I’m keeping it”
“Pamilerin as much as I’m happy that you are carrying my child, and that I can father a child, you know we are not ready for this, we can’t take care of this child”
“What are you insinuating?
“Abortion, that’s the only option we’ve got”
“Abortion! Murdering an innocent child!” I sighed heavily
“Pamilerin, I’m ashamed of myself, this is my seed we are talking about here, I want to see my flesh and blood too but I can’t bring a child into this world when I’m not ready”
“What if something goes wrong in the process”
“Whatever happens, I will stand by you, I will never leave you. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That I promise you”
“Tunde, I hope the tune of the song won’t change tomorrow. Hope it’s not just an empty promise?”
“Do you want me to swear or something”
“No! You don’t have to” I said although deep down inside of me I wish I could make him swear an oath, but I know its not right.
I sighed heavily and picked my phone and dialed my cousin’s number. Joy is a close and trusted cousin, we always have each other’s back. She once had an abortion and she confided in me then.
“Joy I’m pregnant” I said immediately she picked the call.
“Preg what? Pamilerin why? You should have been more careful, I told you my experience and it was not a good one” Joy lamented.
I noticed she was already close to tears from the sound of her voice.
“God! I wish this never happened to you” she said sniffing.
“Don’t cry because of me, I brought this upon myself”
“Let’s leave this baby, Daddy can’t kill you, I know he will be mad at you but I promise to stand by you” she advised.
“I don’t want it”
“This is one big guilt you’ll live with for the rest of your life, do you want that?”
“Joy, that’s the only option I have”
“Your boyfriend?” she asked
“We are on the same page”
“OK, I took pills then” she said and gave me the name of the pills.
“Thanks, I’m grateful”
“Please take care and please update me”
“I will, thanks” I said and ended the call.
“What did she say” Tunde ask after I disconnected.
“She said she used pills but I’m sorry if I’m going to be having an abortion that is not an option for me”
“Why! She used it and it worked”
“Tunde, I’m not using pills, what if it has side effects. Take me to a hospital, I will pay for it if you can’t. This is my life we are talking about here” I shouted.
“I’m not saying I’m not paying but…..
“I’m going to a hospital tomorrow” I said cutting him off.
“Do you have any hospital in mind?”
“No I don’t, God will direct me”
Did I just say God! I couldn’t believe I mentioned God, if I had obey his instruction not to fornicate, I wouldn’t have found myself in this situation.
“OK, anything you decide” he said
He stood up and went into the bathroom to take his bathes, he went into the kitchen afterwards to prepare food for us. He encouraged me to take my bath too and I obeyed.
That night sleep eluded me, what if I die, what if I did not make it. I thought of so many things, I was lying there waiting for morning to come. TO BE CONTINUE