Look, we’ve all been there. We’ve all had our heart broken at one point or another. It hurts. You cry. You try to rationalize. You go through the steps of grieving. Hell, if you go through a divorce it’s a lot more painful.
But, I digress.
The thing is that your break-up doesn’t have to define you. You may not have the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, but you are still you. You are still breathing and you still matter. It’s time to reset and refocus on you.
How can you do that when you’re in so much pain? By moving forward and not looking back. By not lashing out. By not airing your dirty laundry. By staying in the positive in the midst of the pain.
Here are 5 Tips on How to Handle a Break-up Like an Adult:
1. Unplug from social media – Mr. C and I always say how social media or rather the inappropriate use of it can cause so much havoc in relationships. Social media can be your best or worst friend so take some time away from it and unplug. If you’ve posted hundreds of photos of you and your significant other all over Instagram or Facebook, don’t start deleting them. You’re now letting everyone know that you’ve broken up. Just unplug. Take some time for you. Don’t start posting inspirational and depressing mess all over Instagram letting us know that you’re broken up. Keep it to your closest circle and stay away from social media.
2. Don’t post revenge porn – In light of all the Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna mess I will tell you that as a grown adult (over the age of 25) you shouldn’t start posting revenge porn. The nude shots you shared with your significant other should be destroyed and not used to “get back” at your significant other. I don’t care if they cheated on you and stole your money. Keep your business to yourself and stop letting everyone see that you got played. It happens. To all of us. The last thing I want to see is your man’s penis or your woman’s vagina when I click on my Instagram feed. Save it for your safe. Refer back to #1 and just unplug from social media.
3. Seek professional help – This is for everyone. You know that I believe in therapy right? Get some. Now is the time to use your EAP or get a referral from your health provider to discuss your issues. We all have issues. Let me repeat that for a second…WE ALL HAVE ISSUES. Deal with yours. Deal with it in a healthy way. Try the 3 C’s – cuss, cry and color. Let the professionals help you through this healing process. This is extremely important if you have children with the ex. They will forever be in your life and it’s best that you find a way to deal with them that doesn’t cost you losing your mind.
4. Don’t lash out – Look if you are out here disregarding all this great advice I’m giving you and pulling a Rob Kardashian, don’t be surprised if people start offering their opinions on how you should handle a situation. If you had followed my #1 rule you wouldn’t be receiving a public admonishment about your childish behavior. But, you didn’t. So, if you do, why are you mad? Don’t put your business out there or people will feel the need to comment. Hell, even if you don’t put your business out there people may offer opinions about your life. But, you’re hurting and you don’t want to hear it. I get it. Don’t lash out by posting things about your ex. I don’t care if it’s true. If you didn’t go to court and make it public record why are you lashing out accusations? Breathe and get off social media now.
5. Find a healthy outlet – Whether this be the gym, meditation, writing and/or taking a vacation. Just do it. Surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you. Allow them to love and nurture the space around you so that you’re not wallowing in the pit of despair on your own. Take a vacation with your friends and focus on putting the past behind. You now have to focus on your future, but the stress of this break-up is still fresh and real. It’s okay. It may be that way for a minute, but if you find a healthy outlet for your pain you will get through it quicker. Trust me.