Love is essential to life. Our emotional and loving relationships provide us with overall well-being and contribute to our health. Our relationships are part of our social construction, as we reinvent our history and memories through this relationship.
However, love sometimes makes us blind and time brings us a lot of wear and beliefs. Relationships are not as easy as most people make us believe. There are tons of things happening in life and some of these things can even separate the closest people. We have all been able to experience our bad behaviors throughout our lives, or heard of examples of separations in our surroundings, sometimes for reasons that may seem trivial.
Given the importance of human relationships for mental health, find below a list of things that can remind you that it is easy to destroy a relationship we care about. These things can tear new couples, or couples who have been together for years. Perhaps you will recognize certain behaviors and that eradicating them is part of your good resolutions . It’s better this way.
The purpose of this list is to remind us as often as possible the basics of a good relationship. Even though everyone must build their own history and make their own choices, it is never useless to rectify some bad habits of our daily life. The purpose of this list is to remind you not to make the mistake of drowning in behaviors that you will regret bitterly, while they are easily identifiable and modifiable, but you may not realize them. Develop gratitude and good moodit will be much more beneficial for your health and those of your loved ones. At the same time, you will protect the non-negotiable points of intimacy, sexuality, respect, and the reasons you love your spouse.
1. TO BE TOO CRITICAL
One of the biggest causes of energy loss is criticism. Natural phenomenon in humans, criticism within the couple is like a venom thrown in the face. If you do not have anything nice to say to your partner or friends, they will feel hurt. Whether they say it or not, you are going to lower their self-esteem. It’s something that creates a gap between you and others, and it’s a lot of time lost.
Before making remarks and criticisms, even if basically you want to express your opinion or help your partner, stir your tongue 7 times in your mouth. Ask yourself the essential question, whether your criticism is a carrier for your couple, and if this is the right time to say it. Very often we talk too fast and let our emotions take over. If you want to protect your relationship, do not criticize every opportunity, even if you use the tone of humor as an approach. Criticism is laying mines and time bombs in the garden of your relationship.
An effective recipe? Shut up and start writing. Every day, or whenever it’s useful, write what you want to advise our spouse. Written criticism will sometimes be better weighed. You will take a step back and you will have plenty of time to find the right way to talk about it if it is really necessary. If not, you will have emptied your bag on paper, and you will have avoided hurting the love of your life for something that is ultimately not so important.
2. BEING A POACHER AND A TROUBLEMAKER
Who wants to live in a rotten and leaden atmosphere when you wake up? No one. If you answer yes, then I advise you to go see a doctor-psychiatrist as soon as possible.
In a relationship, if you are still too negative, things will not work. In a relationship, if the environment is too negative, it becomes toxic. Nobody wants to be in a toxic relationship. Negative behaviors are sometimes embedded in our behaviors. If you do not correct these behaviors, you will regret it and you will sometimes have the tendency to believe that you are unable to find stable love, whereas it is only your way of behaving which rots your relationships.
What is negative behavior? This poison can be defined in different ways: the tendency to overly critical words and negativity, the will to sabotage the small successes and glories of others, to underestimate and underestimate the abilities and strength of others, to use lying, practicing intimidation, wanting to control everything; and the worst: verbal and physical violence.
3. DO NOT BUDGET CORRECTLY
The money is not a subject that is part of romantic relationships at first. Yet “good accounts make good friends,” says the proverb. And this phrase is not so stupid as that. Money comes into play in relationships, although it may seem like a detail, depending on your social background and income.
If you are a bad manager with money, your partner will always have to make a difference. At first it’s funny, we get to know each other and we share our main faults.
However, this can cause very serious problems. Most relationships like this only last very rarely. If you are supposed to share the bills that your partner should not have to pay or the distribution of your expenses is not clearly discussed you run into material problems that will be arguments in the dark days or the headaches. Do not leave behind useless pots that might be involved in the fall of your relationship.
4. BEING TOO LAZY IN THE RELATIONSHIP
. If you are lazy and refuse to help your partner do mundane tasks at home, this can also be a problem.
To avoid any misunderstanding, you should not have to do any cleaning or storage. It does not kill anyone to get organized a bit and go dump the garbage. Even if you are the only one to work (by choice or because you are looking for a job), everything should be equal, and no one should feel trampled.
Of course, if one of the couple’s two people has a lot of time in front of him and the love of storage, then a balance can be built. But you have to talk about it clearly. Never forget to not let yourself go in excess. Without dialogue and relying on the achievements we prepare a future decline. Whether you’re crazy about storage or messy, correct yourself, take your courage with both hands to try to stay reasonable.
5. IGNORE IMPORTANT MOMENTS AND AVOID TOO MUCH
If you are one of those people who ignore others when they are angry, you will be a very lonely person. In life, you must learn to work through problems. Ignoring them only makes things worse.
Closing on oneself makes us ill and practicing a silent communication does not work with anyone. You must dialogue in stages, without ever allowing violence and regret to plant small seeds of pain deep within you.
A type of detached attachment or avoiding important moments in your relationship is likely to bring chaos and lack of harmony.
6. PUT YOUR WISHES ABOVE YOUR PARTNERS
If you put the things you want above the needs of your partner, then you are selfish. You should both have your needs met and your desires to be realized in reason.
You both need to make things work properly. If you tend to always want to be the preferred person and put forward, there is a good chance that your partner feels humiliated and repelled – like the fifth wheel of the cart.
Ask yourself some questions, ” Being bent at the whim of others at all times, does it seem fair to you? ” Would you be able to bear what you are doing to your spouse?” “. To avoid this type of behavior, develop empathy, learn to be in a fair exchange, and do not believe that you are the center of the universe in your relationship, even if you have arguments that seem to be concrete. Think first about your beloved is the best method in love. You will be rewarded every time.
7. BEING TOO OPEN ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS
If you constantly use the victimization technique, your trap will close on you. Do not forget that talking about your problems is important, but if you use this technique all the time to make yourself feel sorry for or privilege your person, your relationship is doomed to loss.
Self-victimization is a psychic process and a technique of manipulation that generally ends very badly. Prefer the responsibility, you will be much more fulfilled.
Do not get me wrong, even if your problems are real. If you have severe pain, also try to find help from a health professional, rather than believing your spouse can handle all your suffering and heal for you. There is no shame in consulting a psychologist. By the way, if you just complain to complain, stop. There are always at least 3 sides to each story: your side, the side of others and the truth.
To moan is sometimes necessary, and nobody is perfect of course. But closing up again and again in a victimization technique is the cause of great pain. Most people agree that emotions can be caused by a specific event and that the person who experiences it is aware of the cause, but research suggests that emotions can also be unconsciously evoked and manipulated. When emotions are fulfilled, people become aware of their emotions by perceiving their own actions and bodily reactions, and when emotions are weak, people do not notice their actions and their weakly bound body reactions. It is therefore important to pay attention to the small details of our self-victimization behaviors. Do not try to control your spouse, or change the fundamentals of his personality. Take the time to understand and act gently.